Thursday, August 19, 2010

Moofies - Don't Look Up (2009)

EXPECTATIONS: I've seen some of Fruit Chan's films (Dumplings, Three...Extremes) and I was into them, but can his style work with an American cast?

REALITY: No. It can't.

After waaaaay too much opening text, we see Tim Roth on screen for two seconds and all of a sudden this film has the potential to be something great. Then the slow boring trek of nothing begins.

It's nice to see Henry Thomas on screen, but he doesn't really have much to do here, and the rest of the cast is just plain awful. The main character looks like he just walked out of one of many straight to video snooze fests, and he spends this entire film not doing much.

A film maker goes back to the original set of an old film that was never finished and tries to complete the cursed movie. There's a lot of scenes where people slowly walk around cheap looking sets with torches, occasionally stopping at doors to listen to bee noises, and then not OPENING THE DOOR! It's so infuriatingly dull.

When things begin to actually happen and we see a lot of bees and flies and deaths, it's all done with incredibly cheap and nasty CGI and not worth the effort.

I haven't seen the original Japanese version (directed by Hideo Nakata - Ring) but I imagine it's 100% better than this forgettable travesty. I'm not opposed to crap, cheap films; I'm opposed to boring films, and this is boooooooooring.

1/2 a star

1 comment:

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